Hey Baby, What's your sign?

(Seductive Voice): So...how have you been lately?

I promise my lead in will make sense with what I'm saying. I still work from home on a regular basis and this coming Monday, I have a huge software integration going live. It's been a year long process and requires complete training of our 75ish recruiters across the country.

To make this easier, since I am the only trainer, I divided the group into six sessions, with the first session being at 1pm yesterday.

I found a babysitter for Daphne and at 12:00 was about to head out the door to drop her off when I got a phone call. One of the attendees called me and was like, "Where are you!? No one can get on the call!? It's the wrong number!".

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I did swear. Just a tiny blue response to an hideously un-fun scenario. I had scheduled everything on the Eastern time zone rather than the central time zone so everything is an hour ahead. I unceremoniously dump Baby Girl into her crib because now I don't have time to take her to the sitter.

I rush to my desk and look at the call-in information that I sent out to everyone, "1-800!? What? It should be 1-866!"

I send out the new number and we eventually get started on our call.

After the training session, my vendor contact, who was on the phone with me called me to let me know how great of a job I did and stuff. At the end of the conversation he mentioned that the number I sent everyone to at first was a sex chat line.

What?

Yep, a sex chat line.

He was very nonchalant about the whole thing, just throwing that in there at the end of the call. I was shocked and then I blushed and then I busted out laughing. Full on belly laughs. I couldn't believe that I just sent a handful of recruiters to a sex chat line!

My professionalism is startling lacking some days...
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Top 10 Worst Fears

I have a list of top 10 worst fears, and I realized one of them today.

I was almost tearing up in the baby aisle of the grocery store at 7:00am this morning because a big one, definitely near the top of the list was happening at that very moment.

I had become a slobby mommy...

1. I lived in the suburbs.
2. I hadn't showered in the last two days and my hair was pulled back in a seriously greasy ponytail.
3. I had a head cold so I was fuzzy, my eyes were red rimmed and I was breathing though my mouth.
4. I was still wearing my pajama shirt and had thrown on the closest pair of jeans that I could find (translation: ill fitting and out of style) - I think I'm going to throw those pants out today.
5. I had my baby with me and she was still in her pjs.
6. I had on flip flops. It's like 35 degrees out.
7. ZERO make-up. Not even concealer.

The list can go on, but I'm too depressed to continue.
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